While happily married, family events such as Christmas, birthdays and the New Year are exciting occasions for the entire family. 

However, things can significantly change after undergoing divorce. What was once an exciting holiday experience could easily turn stressful as you think about how you and your former spouse will handle such situations. And when you have kids, the planning process may become even more complicated. Read on to find out what you should consider when planning family events after divorce.

1. Consider the circumstances of your separation

If you and your former spouse are still in good terms after separation, planning for family events will be much easier. This is because your ex may be present without causing any awkward and uncomfortable moments. However, if there's lingering tension between you and your ex, you'll have to be careful when planning family events.

How a family lawyer can help

Planning for family events should be included in your child custody agreement. This agreement is legally binding and thus is enforceable in a family court.  For example, you may decide to arrange separate family events or limit the location choices and guest list when planning for a joint occasion.

If your ex has a history of abuse or violence, you may have the legal authority not to invite them at all (for safety reasons).

2. Consider the age of your children

If your kids are older and aware of the circumstances of your divorce, you may have an easier time planning family events. For example, you could explain to your kids the need for having separate family gatherings where one parent is absent. And if you do plan a joint gathering, older children may know how to handle tension or drama that may arise unexpectedly.

How a family lawyer can help

If you have young children, involving a family lawyer could help set appropriate boundaries during the event. For example, you and your ex may agree to the date, time and activities of the occasion. Any party that goes against the agreement will be in violation.

Remember that young children like stability and comfort. Therefore, communicate with your ex (and your family lawyer) to ensure that both of you remain calm around the kids. And if all parties suspect that the joint agreement won't work, then planning separate events may be the best option available.

3. Who will be on the guest list?

As part of the planning process, carefully consider who'll be present during the event. Your lawyer can use their experience to help you discern how in-laws and other relatives may cause unnecessary tension and discomfort. They may also recommend tips for ensuring that everyone abides by the child custody plan.

For more information about other aspects of family law, contact a lawyer.